[Un]Worthy

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Psalms 139:13-15

The first time I thought of this verse in reference to my own life, I was at a summer camp. I’d desperately wanted to go on the week’s hike but knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up with my cabin mates. A counselor offered to go with me on free time. I took her up on it.

As we were hiking, I confided that I didn’t understand why God had allowed me to be born the way I was. She mentioned Psalm 139:14 and told me that God made me just the way I am. She later mentioned running track. At that point, I knew she didn’t understand, but the verse has stayed with me.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve felt unworthy and unqualified not just physically, but spiritually. Little lies creep into my head telling me that I’m too broken. I won’t ever be fixed, so I am not worthy of love, my ministry, and cannot help anyone else.

However, that simply isn’t true. We serve a God who uses the broken things for His glory. We see in the Bible time and time again where God uses the imperfect.

In the passage I mentioned, I’ve seen the first verse quoted often. However, I don’t usually see the next verse quoted: For me, it changes the tone completely.

“My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.”

This verse gives so much comfort!! God knew my broken DNA in my mother’s womb and saw the lungs that would never fill fully with air. Yet, He chose to use me knowing since before I was born that I would be flawed and imperfect.

You may have an imperfection in your life or something you can’t control, and the Devil may sneak the same doubts into your head. However, you are valuable and God can use you.

Jesus states this speaking of our value to Him.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered."
Matthew 10:29‭-‬30

We are incredibly valuable to Christ!! A woman I think of often is Hagar. She wasn’t an Israelite, was a slave, was going to have her master’s child as a surrogate, and was angry at the whole situation.

She ran away into the desert with no food, water, etc. and God appeared to her and promised to make a great nation from her son. It says that then “And she called the name of the Lord that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after him that seeth me?”
Genesis 16:13

God sees us. It’s a simple thought but beautiful in its’ simplicity!! God sees me. My pain, my flaws, my good and bad. God sees me and I matter to Him!

A great example of someone who was used despite his imperfections was the Apostle Paul. He stated this “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

In this verse we see the crux of the matter. It isn’t about us at all! It’s all about Christ and what He can do through a willing vessel.

Something that we can take comfort in is that God uses our brokenness for His glory. In John 9:2, we see the Disciples ask Christ “who sinned?” when faced with a blind man. Jesus’ answer explains it all: “Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
(John 9:3)

Sometimes God allows sorrow, pain, trauma, and sickness in our lives and it’s ok to wonder why, to mourn, and feel broken. However, God can heal us or use what we see as broken pieces if we let Him. God can allow us to comfort others and can use us to help someone else going through the same circumstance. The following verse is such an encouragement!

God has a purpose for our lives. He values us and will use us if we let Him